Don't be too sweet, not to be eaten;
Don't be too sour, not to be thrown away.
Eastern proverb
If you have selected "a crown of thorns" as your main decoration, you are not too interested in learning to "refuse gracefully". But if you want to conserve your strength, time and nervous energy, then you must know how to say "No".
Those of you who have to communicate with other people on a daily basis, make decisions, resolve personnel problems, interact with employees at various levels of an organization have to be skillful in saying "No' for the benefit of your organization and for your own survival.
Who to refuse?
potential employee - when there are several candidates for one vacancy, all but one have to be refused irrespective of your personal sympathy or compassion;
visitors who want to sell something (insurance, tourist or advertising agents). You may include trainers who offer trainings: you may need their services in future, but not now;
employees who want to do something that is outside their competence level.
Sometimes for the benefit of an organization you have to say "No" even to your boss - not every boss knows employees as well as you do!
How to say "No"?
If you feel uneasy in saying "No", you have to brace yourself to long-lasting consequences. If you do not refuse a visitor at once, you will have to spend your valuable time in long conversation. You must be ready for emotional expenses, too. If you feel that it is easier to agree than to refuse, you will be soon overburdened with needless duties.
How to refuse correctly?
A proper refusal must be:
- Unambiguous - it should not be confused with some other form of response.
- Non-personal - it must be devoid of emotions and personal relations.
- Timely - any delay in refusal may provoke undesirable situation.
Participants of this training will:
- Learn about the "Bill on Personal Rights";
- Identify "problem space" of refusal;
- Learn how their individual manner of refusal is perceived by others;
Practice in refusing people - how to say "No" politely, firmly and in time… with a proper combination of sweetness and bitterness.
